True leadership begins with listening

True leadership begins with listening – and sometimes with a simple question

It was one of those sentences that was just there.

I didn't plan it, I didn't quote it, I didn't google it.

It came from within me as I reflected on what I see as one of the most important elements of leadership – a culmination of years of experience.

“True leadership begins with listening.”

I wrote it on a picture—not to seem clever, but to remind myself.

It hangs prominently in my home. And I notice again and again: This one sentence changes how I conduct conversations, how I interact with people, how I make decisions. It always reminds me to slow down and understand.

Leadership is often louder than necessary

We constantly talk about clarity, attitude, decisiveness.

But I think we talk far too rarely about the ability to simply listen.

Listen without immediately correcting, directing or judging.

I don't even want to imagine what kind of reputation you get as a manager if you just drink coffee with your team and listen.

"He doesn't do anything. He's way too soft. He just cuddles around."

Of course, you can't go on about how tough you are and how you've kicked someone out again for not performing. (Warning: sarcasm.)

But maybe—just maybe—that's exactly what leadership sometimes needs: less harshness, more observation. Less action, more connection.

Because leadership often doesn’t begin with what you say – but with what you understand and allow.

“Am I good enough?” – A question that accompanies me

Many of the leaders I speak to are walking a tightrope.

Confident on the outside – full of questions on the inside:

“Am I good enough for this role?”

“Am I doing this right?”

“Do the others actually see how much I swim sometimes?”

I know these thoughts. I've had them myself, and sometimes I still have them today.

And I remember very well a situation from my first leadership role that has stayed with me to this day.

The Story of Martin (Name Changed)

At the time, I was a newly promoted team leader. One of my employees was regularly late for the early shift—and things were getting worse over time.

I did what one does: conversations, warnings, warnings. Nothing helped.

At some point I thought, “If this continues, the only option left is to quit.”

But there was something that made me hesitate: when he was there, he was one of the best.

Only, you couldn't rely on when he would be there—and that threw the whole team off track. At some point, I arranged a coffee with him.

Not in the office. No action. No protocol. Just a real conversation. He agreed.

After a few minutes, it became clear: He sensed that I didn't want to get rid of him . And suddenly the story came out:

He was a musician. He played in an ambitious band.

Rehearsals in the evenings, often followed by songwriting and performance planning—almost every night it went on until late. The other band members were students. He was the only one who had to work at 6 a.m. Suddenly, everything made sense.

Listening changes everything

We didn't talk about guilt or warnings, but rather about possibilities and ideas, and the longer the coffee went on, the better it got.

And in the end we came up with a simple idea together:

He will now permanently take over the late shift

For him it was ideal – more sleep, straight from work to rehearsal.

It was a gift for the team – because nobody liked the late shift.

He stayed for another six months, then he left – because the band took off.

But this experience taught me more about leadership than many seminars:

When you listen, you don't just find problems - you find people.

And with people, you can create solutions that no one could have imagined before. That's why I now support managers. Not with panaceas, but with an open ear.

My new 1:1 coaching program is all about that: listening. Asking questions. Opening perspectives. Without pressure. Without masks. With clarity—and with humanity.

We meet for four weeks, once a week for 60 minutes.

And we work with what you really bring to the table – not with what you think you have to deliver.

👉 I am currently giving away 3 places for the test price of 450 €.

If you feel that coaching could be just the right thing for you, you can find all the information here: 🔗 https://shorturl.at/vPORj

And if you think visually…

You can also get the picture with the ear – “True leadership begins with listening” – as a poster.

I put it in my little Etsy shop simply because I think some sentences should be visible.

👉 👉 Click here to go to the Etsy shop

Thanks for reading. And for listening.

– Uwe